Maybe Clarkson will dig deep for Gorgie - John McLellan

Perhaps Jeremy Clarkson could dig deep and invest a seven-figure sum in Gorgie City Farm? Picture: Prime Video/Ellis O'Brien

There’s also the funny farm, but that’s probably unmentionable these days. But if you don’t have any animals or produce anything then whatever you may be doing, you’re not running a farm.

Sadly, into this category falls the Gorgie City Farm, which according to a new report can’t have animals for at least five years, and the only thing I can remember it producing recently was some Christmas trees from a seasonal trader.

Now overseen by the Edinburgh Voluntary Organisations Council (EVOC) it’s a farm in name only, and it now appears that to meet acceptable animal welfare standards it needs investment of up to £4.6 million.

A minimum estimate of £1.5m might allow it to keep a few hamsters and chickens, but apparently any new organisation will need to have been operational for five years to prove its credentials. And then there is the small matter of the recent fire.

There’s no doubt it brings something different to the area, and suggestions of turning it into an educational community facility which grows some vegetables, fruit and flowers sounds a more sustainable option.

Whatever community-led model EVOC produces – and it hasn’t had its financial troubles to seek recently either − I doubt very much if it involves someone trousering up a seven-figure sum for a “farm” which will be loss-making from the start. Maybe Jeremy Clarkson?