My turn to return the touristy thing favour to England - Susan Morrison

Stunning scenery along the walk from Windermere to Ambleside

I literally ambled through Ambleside, moving at that exact speed guaranteed to frustrate the living daylights out of the locals who need to move with a little more pace. When my attention was caught by some random feature, I naturally stopped dead in the middle of the pavement, oblivious to the people behind me.

The shop windows distracted me, of course, so I erratically ping-ponged about at sudden high speed to get a better look at the delights on display.

Not the fudge shops, though. Even though I have the Scottish sweet tooth, I’m not actually a great fan of fudge. Clearly the good people of the Lake District are. Fudge shops all over the joint, and many of them selling Kendal Mint cake. This is truly foul stuff. It’s just toothpaste that’s been left to dry out.

At least I looked up. There seems to be a fad for staring at the screens of mobile phones and just ploughing through the crowds. There’s usually a huge suitcase on wheels in the other hand. You can tell, even from a distance. People are forced to leap to safety to get out of the way. It’s like watching Roman legions fleeing Boudicca’s scythe-wheeled chariot.

In my favour, at least I don’t take endless selfies at particularly scenic spots or get my friend to set up her mobile phone to record a TikTok moment to camera. For some reason, they always seem to be at the very pinch points of narrow footpaths. One young woman was quite the little Stanlely Kubrick and required take after take of her breathless commentary, holding up the two way foot traffic.

Mind you, at least one of her attempts was unfortunately spoiled by a deranged old Scottish woman ambling through her shot.

What can I say? I saw a shop I wanted to go into and at my age, I can’t be expected to hang about while Ms Influencer gets her lines right.