Occasional overhead zip of a Typhoon makes me positively giddy with excitement

The flypast at the end of the military procession marking the 80th anniversary of VE Day in London included a Voyager transport, a P8 Poseidon, Typhoon and F-35 fighter jets, along with historic Second World War-era aircraft from the Royal Air Force Battle of Britain Memorial Flight, culminating with the iconic red, white, and blue smoke of the Royal Air Force's Red Arrows (Picture: Aaron Chown/PA Wire)

Naturally, I’m not in favour. As well as a mild interest in early 20th century shipping, I also have a touch of the plane spotter about me, and can actually tell my Airbus 320 from my Boeing 777. It shouldn't be surprising then that the occasional overhead zip of a Typhoon makes me positively giddy with excitement.

Yes, I do know they are very noisy and I do realise they may upset some people, but the RAF very kindly provide details of their sorties over the castle, a practice I imagine they don’t follow on operational duties, unless they have shared the information with whatever tumpshie-heid Trump has put in charge of the American armed forces, in which case detailed flight plans will have been posted on Facebook, Instagram and a Whatsapp chat group for breastfeeding mothers in Maine.

Anyway, it’s just about the only time we the taxpayer get to see exactly what £73 million of our money can buy, although I should stress that the UK gets a discount on account of the fact that we took part in the development costs of about £20 billion. We get a sort of members club deal of £50-mil a pop – if anyone out there is stuck for Christmas present ideas.

We have to be honest, though, most of us don’t even know what it was until it’s gone past. There’s a high speed whoosh and an entire city gets a nasty neck sprain. I’m pretty insufferable at that point, and have been known to deliver entire impromptu lectures about afterburners and swing-wing capability to complete strangers who just asked, “What was that?” Well, they asked …

So, yes, I am a sucker for a flypast, but at that moment I also spare a thought for those in Kyiv and Gaza who live dailly with the sound of F-16s and Su-30s, and say a little word of solidarity to them, thankful that my display of aerial firepower is for decorative purposes only.