Shame about Tasmania but we’re getting used to ferry fiascos - Susan Morrison

The Spirit of Tasmania ferry which carries passengers between Melbourne and Devonport in Tasmania

Presumably senior people in high paying jobs somewhere in Australia will think again about building a ferry too big for its planned home port.

Not that we can smirk. If anyone can tell a tale about ferry fiascos, it's us.

I like big boats and I cannot lie, so I’ll miss her. But the future is bright for ship spotters on the Shore.

We’re expecting more fancy-shmancy cruise liners this year.

Actually, these ocean-going five-star hotels are not my favourites. Oh, I know they look impressive and all, but I’m more of a dirty working boat sort of a gal.

That’s not a euphemism. Not at my age, at any rate. There’s nothing like watching a stubby little tug at work, all engine and attitude, shoving around one of these princesses of the seas.

Some of our gleaming guests pull into Western Harbour at the Port of Leith Cruise Terminal. Rather a gloomy name. And hopefully incorrect.

The liners don’t terminate there. They are free to leave, and, avoiding maritime dangers such as icebergs, return safely to their home ports.

If the name is a bit of buzzkill, then surely the arriving view of castle and city must raise the spirits. Well, not if you look down from the towering decks.

Visitors would be forgiven for thinking that the city had decided to design the welcoming surroundings as very much a litter-strewn, post-industrial wasteland, with the Royal Yacht Britannia inexplicably tied up next to a demolition site.

Yes, of course, there is no good time for flattening buildings. Some upheaval is to be expected, and I am sure that our visitors realise they have popped by while we’ve got the builders in. A bit of mess is always to be expected.

I speak from experience. Not long ago I had my kitchen installed.But on gangplank level, the gateway to our city isn’t much better. It’s dull and dreich.

Yes, there needs to be a coach park, but would it hurt to have a little colour about it? Even a plant or two might do a bit of good.

A wee run around with a litter-picking team now and then might not come amiss either, given the windy weather we’re getting lately.

If the plans to levy a ‘tourist tax’ on cruise ships come to anything, perhaps they’ll have enough to tart the place up a bit.

Well, it's only fair. If an extra bob-a-berth is being charged, we should push the boat out a little. Sorry.A new smart building, perhaps.

Build in a museum of Leith’s great maritime past and you've got yourself a year-round visitor attraction, and everyone has to leave through the gift shop.

Pipers. Now, possibly a tad controversial, but do we really need one? As a welcome, I mean. Love the pipes, me, but perhaps we need something a bit more upbeat.

Let’s greet our visitors with invitations to ceilidh into Scotland. Let’s ‘Strip the Willow’ onto waiting coaches. Save our pipers for the farewell.

You all know what I mean. A lone piper across the water and not a dry eye on deck. After a warm welcome, let's make our farewell fond. A tourist tax well spent.