Skin care has changed since the days of Ponds Cold Cream

Week two of the Fringe and things are going reasonably well, although the longest queue I’ve seen isn’t outside a venue. It's the huge line waiting patiently to get into a St James Quarter shop called ‘Sephora’.

It sells face slap, creams, lotions and potions. Quite why this emporium should be causing such a stir is beyond me. Trusty old Boots is downstairs, ever ready to simultaneously cater to the buyers of cosmetics and needs of those with constipation. At my time of life, that is often the same person.

I’m told this new kid on the block is the place to be if you want to indulge in fancy-dan skin care, especially the Korean brands. Terribly keen on a fearsome 10-step skincare regime, the girls of Seoul. No doubt about it, they look jolly good on it. Mind you, they probably looked pretty darned gorgeous before they started, which must have been about 3.30 in the morning.

It would all be wasted on me. Anyway, I only have the time for a Calvinistic 3 step routine, which usually involves a quick wash with something I bought from Superdrug because it was on special offer, then slap on some moisturiser I picked up while browsing the Duty Free at Edinburgh Airport. It had a nice box.

You’re right. That’s only 2 steps. There is toner, but since no-one has ever been able to explain to me what it's supposed to do, I forget about it until it goes a bit whiffy.

In my youth it was Ponds Cold Cream. It was the only thing that could completely remove lavishly applied Miners mascara. When that stuff dried it created massive great lumps between the lashes. The whole day was then spent anxiously checking compact mirrors to stem the steady avalanche of black chunks down the cheeks.

At the end of the day, we'd slather on the Ponds, rinse with cold water then slap on some baby lotion to moisturise.

If we wanted a face pack, we had porridge oats, which functioned as both breakfast staple and beauty aide. Now that's value for money, Korean.