Surely Nicola Sturgeon’s memoirs promise more than whether she has bunions and who does the housework? - Susan Dalgety
That day has come perhaps sooner than she would have wished, accelerated by a police investigation into SNP finances, but even if her time at the top was cut short, she will still have plenty to write about.
I am particularly interested in whether she has bunions from two decades of wearing impossibly high heels every day.
Who does the housework at her immaculate home on the edge of Glasgow, and who cleaned up after the police spent two days searching it earlier this year?
She promises the book, to be published in 2025 by Pan MacMillan, will reveal her proudest moments.
I presume she doesn’t mean losing the 2014 referendum on whether Scotland should leave the UK.
Or her broken promise to close the poverty attainment gap that continues to scar communities and limits the life chances of thousands of Scots.
And what about the scandal of the thousands of vulnerable Scots who died of Covid, after hundreds of untested people were transferred to care homes to free up hospital beds?
I can guarantee, however, that we will read about baby boxes, the freebie that offers every mum a couple of sleep suits, a poetry book and two packs of condoms. Yes, condoms. A tad late perhaps, but a generous gesture all the same from the Scottish government.
She will no doubt mention that other great SNP giveaway (paid for with our taxes) – free prescriptions.
No matter that the majority of people qualify for free medicines anyway, Sturgeon has boasted about this middle-class giveaway ever since it was introduced in 2011.
And that is about it.
Her legacy can be summed up in a few words: a cardboard box full of baby stuff and free paracetamol for the better-off. Not exactly a riveting read.
Political memoirs are rarely thrillers.
I loved Barack Obama’s Dreams from My Father, the memoir he wrote long before he became the most powerful man in the world, but I never finished his post-presidential book, A Promised Land.
I have Henry McLeish’s tell-all tale, Scotland First: Truth and Consequences, on my bookshelves, but I bought it for research purposes and have still to open it.
And I will buy Boris Johnson’s self-serving autobiography when it eventually comes out, as I am a huge fan of comic fiction.
To be fair to Nicola Sturgeon, I will also buy her memoirs as I am keen to read her reflections on the challenges of being a woman in politics, as she has promised.
These will be particularly interesting coming from a woman who spent the last few years of her leadership arguing that any man should be able to change their legal status to female if they felt so inclined.
And I am desperate to find out what she really thinks of Humza Yousaf. She will tell the truth of course.
After all, she has been a politician for nearly thirty years.