Susan Dalgety: Come dine with me – if you don’t mind my grumpy swearing

Come Dine With Me is looking for contestants from Edinburgh to take part in the next series

Are you a show-off desperate to appear on reality TV, no matter that the nation may mock your culinary efforts and home décor? You are? Then you have only a few days left to apply to be on the next series of Channel 4’s long running hit show, Come Dine with Me.

The show is looking for five Edinburgh contestants to take part in a week-long cooking competition where they will take turns hosting a three-course dinner party. The winner receives £1000 and fifteen minutes of TV fame. Interested? You have until this Friday (October 25) to apply. Check out the Channel 4 website for more details, and good luck!

I have to confess Come Dine With Me is one of my all-time favourite TV shows. I have been a huge fan since it started nearly 20 years ago, and have been known to watch endless repeats on YouTube just to satisfy my craving for dauphinoise potatoes and slow-cooked lamb shank – one of the programme’s signature dishes.

I have at times threatened to apply to appear on the show, but commonsense (and my husband) always prevails. I love cooking. My favourite way to spend an evening is with a small group of friends round a dinner table, usually with too much red wine, but I do not suffer fools gladly and I am a closet introvert. The idea of spending five nights in a row with perfect strangers fills me with horror. And I tend to swear when under pressure in the kitchen or when confronted by someone whose views I regard as ridiculous.

But it doesn’t stop me from imagining my perfect Come Dine With Me menu. I am torn between an all-Greek feast, with meze, sea bream and revani – a semolina sponge soaked in lemon sugar syrup – or some of my favourite Nigel Slater dishes, including a leek and potato soup with grilled mackerel and a sublime hazelnut and chocolate mousse. I reckon, on a good night, I might even get eight out of ten for my food, but probably three for my hosting.