Susan Morrison: It’s time to think big on this... really big

BINMEN’S backs being bandied about as advertising hoardings to raise dosh for our cash-strapped council, eh?

We’re going to have think big on this one. Well, for one thing, we may have to think big on the bin men. Some of the guys on our run wouldn’t even be big enough for a small endorsement for the Post Office, so the council may have to re-think its recruiting policy, and prioritise size.

After all, what if say, the First American & Transcontinental Bank and Savings Group Transglobal Division (Scotland) (Leith) decide they want a piece of the action? Let me tell you, you’re going to have to find yourself a chunky chappie for that one and no mistake.

If its cash, couldn’t we just flog something? Do we really need the Scott Monument? Couldn’t we sell it off to Disney to put in a Burnsland theme park, get a few bob and replace it with a giant wheel ride – very popular down south, I hear.

That castle – what’s it doing, then? Let’s get that rock hollowed out and get in some escalators and couple of branches of Boots.

Bet you could find a budget hotel chain to set up shop in the castle itself. ‘Edinburgh Castle Brought To You By Premier Vacation Express Cheap Bed Hotel’ in great big letters on the side.

Perhaps we should come at this another way. Why not ‘Adopt A Council Employee’? We could have heart rending photos of say, Harry the Binman, with the strap line ‘Harry could become extinct. Just £2 a month and you and your neighbours would be protecting Harry and his kind for a year’.

Or we could make this a fab city to come visit and shop and spend money in? Just a thought…