Susan Morrison: Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once – Berlin’s gone tourist​​​​​​​

The tang of espionage would be everywhere, dodgy doorways sheltering burned-out field agents, trench coat collars turned up, edgily waiting for their contact. In the background, the sound of a zither playing. Yes, I know that was ‘The Third Man’, and I know that was set in Vienna, but you get my drift.

So I was channeling Michael Caine in his Harry Palmer days, only to discover the place has had a glow-up. Trench coats are so last century, darling.

A bus tour is a great way to explore a new city. My bus had an English language option, delivered by a weirdly upbeat American accented lady.

I say weirdly because there is no avoiding the fact that Berlin has something of a troubled past. I mean, Edinburgh has its fair share of dark moments, but that was a long time ago. Even the most heinous of crimes can take on a mildly jaunty air after a century or two. Black Bulls heads being thrown onto dinner tables? The whole evening getting a bit stabby? Worst episode of ‘Come Dine With Me’ ever.

Her cheery tones were fine for the Reichstag and the Brandenburg Gate, but her ‘well, look to your right folks, for the Museum of Terror’ was a bit Disney-meets-Hammer.

We stopped briefly at Checkpoint Charlie, a spiritual home of Cold War spying. In 1961, it was the scene of a high-tension stand-off between US and Soviet tanks. For about fifteen hours, it really looked like that chilly conflict was about to get out of the freezer.

Charlie and the Wall came down in 1989. What you see now is a reconstruction. It looks like the carpark barrier to a 1970s shopping centre, surrounded now by tourist tat shops and young folk taking selfies.

Nuclear armageddon nearly came through this little door between East and West.

Well, if you leave anything alone for a couple of decades, just about everything turns into a tourist trap.