The Great Edinburgh Bus Lane Ticket Scandal? Oh no, it was me, caught on camera three times – Hayley Matthews

I mean, yes I drive to the shops and back and take the car on the odd run to the Fort to pick up a MacDonald's and nappies from Boots but other than that, big mumma car has been sitting on her bum for the last 14 months.

I think she ventured out to the Gyle one day to pick up a new laptop, but that's as about as exciting as it's gotten for her, wee lamb.

So you'll understand why I was gobsmacked when in the space of two weeks I've had three – yes, three! – bus lane tickets through the door for her.

I wondered if she'd been going for a midnight run on her own because obviously this couldn't have been me... then I checked the photos and there I am, picking my nose in the front seat, other hand on the wheel and yes, I'm driving in the bus lane – just.

One of them was a trip to the A&E to see my mum and I got a bit lost as it was midnight, but still got a bus lane ticket!

The other two show me just over the line on the way back from the Fort. So beware, even though the roads are still much quieter than they used to be with little rush-hour traffic, the bus lanes are still a no-no! Don't go near them at any time of day, just to be on the safe side, or you'll get a bloody ticket, or two, or three!

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