The show still goes on for master illusionist Boris Johnson - Vladimir McTavish
I read an exclusive this week’s Guardian. It seems that, while still in office as Prime Minister, Boris Johnson had been using his position to line up lucrative business deals with foreign governments. Why does none of this come as any surprise? Hardly unusual behaviour for the ex-PM.
From hiding in a fridge to avoid journalists, to multi-million-pound Downing Street refurbishment with gold wallpaper, to his flaunting of his own lockdown rules during the Partygate scandal, we all knew that he was only ever looking out for number one.
What does surprise me is that any foreign government, looking at the incompetence of Johnson’s time in office, would think “We must do business with this guy”.
Even after four years, it’s impossible to forget his rambling speech to the CBI where he lost his place, lost his notes and then went off on some surreal tangent about visiting Peppa Pig World. Hardly someone you would look to for business advice.
Apparently a consultancy firm set up by Johnson has been touting for work with political contacts he made while at Number Ten.
These include making a pitch to the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammed bin Salman to hire it to provide advice on reducing carbon emissions.
I don’t remember Boris coming up with any ground-breaking green policies when he himself was PM, apart from being photographed riding a bike.
I’m guessing that the advice he was selling was along the lines of “You don’t need to actually reduce emissions, just get someone to take a picture of you cycling”.
Only ten days ago, An Evening With Boris Johnson was at the Usher Hall. I know this because a sponsored ad for the event came up on my Facebook news feed. This is why I am not paranoid about the know-all nature of social media. What out-of-synch algorithm at Meta considered me or anyone in Scotland, to be the target demographic for this show?
I was thinking of going, just to heckle, until I found out the cheapest tickets were £49. You could have paid as much as £145.
Not only that, there was a meet-and-greet beforehand, presumably at extra cost, where you could even get your photograph taken with Boris. How many takers would there e for that in Scotland, even among Tory Party members?
The copy for the night was wonderful, Bojo at his pure delusional best. It claimed that “delivering Brexit was his first major achievement, finally enacting the will of the British people”.
Not many in Scotland, though. It went on to say “at home, he delivered a visionary programme of social reform to unite and level up the country”. Anyone remember that happening? Me neither.
Its final paragraph stated that “when Covid 19 struck, he led the country through the darkest days of the pandemic.” Yes, they were dark days. Precisely because he was leading the country.
I don’t know how few people turned up to the event, but in the unlikely scenario that it was a sell-out, the former PM would have trousered over £100,000 for one night’s work. A hundred grand for a couple of hours on stage telling barefaced whoppers? Excuse me. I’m off to hide in a fridge.