Vladimir McTavish: Al least the gender ruling proves one thing – we love our lavvies
Despite what you may have heard, last week’s Supreme Court ruling on gender has gone far from providing clarity. Both sides are as far apart as ever.
Nevertheless this endless debate does reveal one deep-seated element of the British psyche. Namely our obsession with toilets. Before proceeding, can I just say here and now, that I am in no way trying to trivialise the gender debate. Anything but.
It’s just that this whole subject is about a helluva lot more than washrooms. Yet, all the conversations I heard, read and watched in last week’s media kept coming back to the subject of lavatories. This is a hugely controversial and at times toxic, argument that risks getting bogged down over one single issue.
Let me also go on the record to state that I am a believer in toilets. Indeed, I consider the flushing loo to be one of the greatest inventions of humankind. Its contribution to the eradication of diseases such as dysentery and their enhancing of the clean air of our homes and cities should not be over-estimated. It is also somewhere to read.
As a nation we are obsessed with lavvies. Somewhere at home, I have a book entitled Temples Of Convenience, a photographic record of some of the most impressive crappers in the UK, like The Philharmonic pub in Liverpool and The Horseshoe bar in Glasgow city centre.
At my aunt’s funeral a few years ago in the old Bearsden Town Hall building just outside Glasgow, my nephew was so impressed by the men’s bogs that he took a photo which he later posted on Facebook.
We have always been overly fascinated by WCs. The current debate has just given this obsession a political slant. Despite what you might have heard or read over the past week, the Supreme Court were not merely ruling solely on lavatories, but it seems to be the one issue which has most energised the media, and the general population.
Who uses what kludgies seemed to be the sole thing on the minds of many of most highly-respected political commentators. Even on some of the more enlightened TV discussion programmes, it all seemed to boil down to where we all go to defecate.
While a trans woman, now legally ruled male, can not longer use a women’s toilet, what happens when a trans man, now legally ruled a woman, goes into a men’s toilet?
How will people prove their gender? Who will police this? Will we need photo ID before spending a penny? I heard all these questions being asked on the BBC. Where the answer is staring everyone in the face.
BBC Scotland’s building on Pacific Quay has had gender neutral toilets ever since it opened around 20 years ago. Many pubs now provide similar facilities. We don’t have gender-specific lavatories on trains, planes or buses. Or in our own homes.
Surely it is time for all bogs to be made gender-neutral. Can Parliament not pass a law demanding as much? Maybe the High Court can rule on that? That would surely give clarity.
I can’t believe I’m getting so impassioned about this. I’m worried that I’m catching the national toilet-obsession bug. Please flush it out of me before it’s too late.