Vladimir McTavish: Conservative party leader – who would want a job like that?
So who are these imbeciles, idiots and crypto-fascists competing to be the rat who skippers the sinking ship?
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Hide AdPriti Patel was the first to be voted out. She is known as the person who originally thought up the crackpot Send Them All To Rwanda Scheme, back when she was Home Secretary in Boris Johnson’s cabinet.
The fact that she still remains close to Johnson should be a clue as to the kind of tawdry company she keeps. Many saw her leadership bid as a stepping stone to a Bojo comeback.
It’s a shame she dropped out. This column has been much more difficult to write since he disappeared from the scene.
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Hide AdEarly frontrunner is Robert Jenrick, who was too much of a reactionary wing-nut for Rishi Sunak.
He resigned as a minister because he didn’t think the Rwanda Plan was severe enough. He’s spent the last six months thinking up even more extreme far-right ideas with which to tempt the Tory faithful, such as leaving the European Court of Human Rights.
Tom Tugendhat is a bit of a nonentity whose sole selling point to the voters is that he used to be in the Army.
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Hide AdConservative Party members like that kind of thing. Many ex-soldiers have moved into politics. Let’s not forget that a military background did not hold back such upholders of democracy as General Franco, Augusto Pinochet and Idi Amin.
Then we have the ridiculously-named James Cleverly, who really would be better off playing pantomime this Christmas, just so the audience could shout “Oh, no he isn’t” any time his name was mentioned.
He was the Foreign Secretary who famously described the Rwanda Scheme as “batsh*t”. He then became Home Secretary and overnight was waxing lyrical over how good an idea it was to pack asylum seekers off to Africa on planes.
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Hide AdComing up on the outside is Mel Stride about whom I know nothing. Possibly because there is nothing to know about the man. He could only be more anonymous if he were taking part in a witness protection scheme.
However, anyone old enough to remember John Major’s victory as Thatcher’s successor in 1990 will know that being a faceless nobody is not necessarily an impediment to success with Tory voters.
Finally, there is Kemi Badenoch, who is the bookies’ favourite despite the fact that everyone hates her. She spends most of her time insulting minorities on X.
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Hide AdVehemently “anti-woke”, she says “life is better when people say what they think”.
Hard to disagree with until you find out what Kemi thinks, which is either complete rubbish or utterly unacceptable. She went on to claim “I do charm sometimes”. Really? I’ve never noticed.
Anyway, while MPs will whittle the candidates down to two, the final vote lies with the membership of the Conservative Party, many of whom are senile, several of whom are strange and lots of whom are certifiably insane. Some are all three.
Two years ago, they elected Liz Truss, so no candidate is too unhinged to win this race.
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