Welcome to the season of mellow fruitfulness and flu vaccines - Susan Morrison
On one of those rainy days last week, I walked into the living room and had to put the big light on. It wasn’t even time for Reporting Scotland.
The nights are truly drawing in. And this weekend, darkness will call even earlier when we change the clocks then spend a whole day wandering about shouting at each other ‘No, what time is it really?’
Of course, I am fortunate. I live with a Yorkshireman and they have elevated time-keeping to a core tenet of Being Northern. All the clocks are religiously changed, except the one on my bedside table, which he has ruled ‘not his responsibility.’ Demarcation of tasks and duties is another rock-solid tenet of the North.
Twice a year I forget how to change the time and spend about two hours of mounting fury fiddling about with the tiny buttons and switches on the back before hurling it at the wall screaming vengeance on British farmers who apparently cannot go to work in the dark.
Yes, I could look up the instructions on-line, but that’s cheating and giving into the inevitable creep of artificial intelligence. You can see just how smug our digital overlords are getting because those clocks, mobile phones and fancy-dan fitness doodahs sneakily update themselves, without a Yorkshireman in sight. Downright sinister, I call it.
Yes, it's the season of mellow fruitfulness and flu vaccines. Naturally, we obeyed the NHS call and got jabbed. Such sheep.
Outside a local Leith hostelry, I heard punters decry vaccinations. Apparently this Nobel prize standard team of pavement researchers ‘knew’ that those syringes hid horrible things. Unhealthy stuff to put in your bodies, they warned each other, as they drew heavily on their fags and vapes.
In today’s anti-science world, getting vaccinated is downright rebellious.
Well, if you can sort out the time, you can brighten up the October gloom on Sunday by coming along to the Stand Comedy Club at 5pm and join me at ‘Historically Funny’, a nae-walking tour of Edinburgh's murky history.
It's a witchy special this month. We’ll check out some pre-vaccine flu cures. Might need to source a couple of toads …