Who needs off-road capability on the Western Approach? - Susan Morrison

When it comes to car parks Susan Morrison can become as territorial as a ranty presidential candidate (Photo by David Becker/Getty Images)

A few days ago I parked in one such space and paused, as I do, to check my car was sitting comfortably, then went about my business. Got back to the carpark, and discovered that my little car was entirely hemmed in by two big brute muscle machines. Both were parked so that their presumably equally large drivers could exit on the other side. I suspect they didn’t even see my car. They were encroaching egregiously on my borders. They had to. They took up all their space and more.

There are days when I dream of a shoulder-held missile launcher. One launch and goodbye 4x4. Yes, I know, overdramatic, and expensive. The shipping costs alone for a Lockheed Javelin are mental. I’ve checked.

Why do people need these huge cars? Who needs off-road capability when the only roads you go off are Ferry, Lothian and Western Approach? They don’t fit our space-strapped urban world. It’s not the first time I’ve seen cars trapped by them. A few years ago at the Western General car park I watched an elderly couple have their Fiat freed by a lithe young porter who managed to squeeze in and release the handbrake to get their car out from between a pair of monster Beamers.

Of course you have the right to buy and drive whatever you want, although my husband had drawn the line at me buying a tank I found on ebay, but be aware of the space these things are taking up. Even trams have been blocked by a Range Rover Discovery. Presumably the driver discovered just how much ire one badly parked car can generate.

Oh, I got my car out by breathing in and doing some serious wriggling. I’m guessing the owner of the poseur truck never even noticed that the dirt on one side was polished off to a valet standard by an angry little woman.