Snow Willy was gone pretty quick as the man from the council said people found it offensive - Susan Morrison

People hereabouts get excited by ice. The Water of Leith froze over last week. The entire Republic turned out to take in the view.
Fun in the snow in Holyrood Park. Picture: Lisa Ferguson/JPIMediaFun in the snow in Holyrood Park. Picture: Lisa Ferguson/JPIMedia
Fun in the snow in Holyrood Park. Picture: Lisa Ferguson/JPIMedia

Well, there’s not much going on at the moment, although few things are sadder than the sight of a bunch of mallards huddled on a sheet of solid water, looking as bewildered as a Scottish Parliamentary Committee on a frozen Zoom meeting. With less swearing, obviously.

Mind you, few things are funnier than watching a bunch of mallards scramble to clear the deck when a swan comes barrelling in for a landing that’s going to get seriously inelegant seriously quickly.

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It wasn’t just the Water of Leith, of course. The pond in Inverleith park froze, too, but whilst we in Leith favour laughing at the ducks and chucking empty beer cans onto the ice, the good people of Stockbridge strapped on the skates and went full-on Torvill or Dean.

Who knew that many people in the city had ice skates stashed and waiting for the moment the water freezes? Are they related in any way to the gleeful nutters who appear in skis the second snow lands on Dublin Street? And where do people hide those nifty plastic sledges all year? In my day it was a tin tea tray and you’d be grateful for it.

The boating pond at Inverleith Park was chocka with sledgers and ice dancers until we had Police Scotland turning up to tell people to just stop that, like Nanny McFee. I suppose people could have gone through the ice, but the pond isn’t very deep. It only comes up to my knees, I won’t elaborate on how I know that.

It’s a class thing, I suspect. The further up the Water of Leith, the posher it gets. One imagines that the opportunities for ice skating lessons and ski holidays were greater in the leafy environs fringing Inverleith Park. As a result, equipment and expertise are to hand when the weather turns Winter Olympics. I also suspect that those summer art camps paid off when the snow hit. Parks all over the city were decorated with snow people, snow ducks and even a snow dragon.

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Here in Pilrig Park, some one had carefully erected a huge representation of part of the male anatomy.

The council moved in pretty sharpish, and Snow Willy was gone in pretty quick order. The man from the council said that people found it offensive, although for some reason we can have a whole series of metal men standing in the scud all the way down the Water of Leith, startling upwary passers-by.

The remains were quickly repurposed as incredibly well built igloos. A bunch of dynamic mini-builders, all under the age of ten, built what looked like a one-bedroom apartment with en-suite toilet facilities. Everyone knew about the bathroom. Jayden’s mum bellowed at Jayden not to use the toilet. But he did.

Given the standard of construction I saw in Pilrig Park there’s a great future for the Scottish building trade. These mini houses were impressive. One was listed on ESPC before nightfall.

And then, just like money in my bank account, the snow was gone. Council crocuses are pushing up through the grass. Dare we believe that spring is on the way?

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