A few weeks ago, I outed myself as a Scot who did not particularly like Irn-Bru but is fully supportive of your right to drink Irn-Bru.
Now I find I may have to start drinking the stuff as a sort of anti-Trump protest. He’s banning it from his posh hotel because it “might stain the carpets”. Well, of course it will! Bru stains forever!
Who among us has not the post-Hogmanay stained jumper, where a shoogly hangover hand lifting the precious can to your lips went slightly off-piste and slopped down your front? Or worse, the after-effects of a UEC (unexpected exploding can) incident?
Silly man. This is Scotland. We will drink our Bru where we choose, and the devil take your internal décor.
I suspect he’s really banned it because the colour clashes with his face.