Bathgate's heart-throb care home crooner turns crime writer

If Dame Vera Lynn was the Forces Sweetheart, an argument could be made that Michael Patterson was, until the pandemic hit, the male equivalent in the eyes of his army of elderly female fans in Scotland's care homes, for whom he has became a bit of a heart-throb.

Crime writer and entertainer Michael Patterson

The 56-year-old entertainer turned crime-writer laughs as he admits, “The staff tell me that some of the ladies have pictures of me in my kilt up on the wall."

He continues, “And they do wee hand gestures to me when I'm singing if they want me to do a burl, calling out, 'Turn around son, do a wee twirl'.

He adds, "I used to vow I'd give it all up when they stopped referring to me as 'son'. Sadly, that happened about a year or two back, but then they started calling me The Kilty Man. Their eyes light up when I walk in and they can be quite cheeky, although in a nice way... and they get away with things no one else would. I learned very quickly to avoid anyone with a walking stick. When I walk in and see a frisky looking lady with a walking stick I know to keep my distance otherwise that stick will be lifting my kilt before I know it."

DI Steven Murray novels

Laughing again, he concedes, "But, I wouldn't put the kilt on if I wasn't expecting to have a bit of a laugh with them. It's all good-natured banter."

Patterson, who in a previous life owned a chain of video rental shops and worked as a manager for Debenhams, has been juggling his entertainment business, Memory Lane, with crime-writing since 2015. It’s a balance that has been skewed by Covid over the last year.

"Most care homes have a residents' lounge where entertainers perform. In the early days I had a lead microphone but now I have a cordless one which allows me to me to interact with the audience; they can sing with me or I might get one of the ladies up to dance. I sing folk, music hall, wartime, Irish and Scottish songs.

"Notalgia is a powerful thing. The residents tell me about their past and their own lives. I used to say to my own kids when they were younger, 'You just see them as old people, but when you listen to some of the stories they can tell, they're amazing people.

"The key is to involve them. I'll sing one line, they'll sing the next. It's not about me. The number of residents whose families say things like, 'Do you know, our mum doesn't even speak and you had her singing.’ That brings a tear to my eye and is why I get asked back and why I have been doing it for so long."

Covid knocked all that on the head and lockdown quickly saw Patterson's performing diary cleared as care homes became off limits. Instead he turned his attention to his literary creation, Detective Steve Murray, penning no fewer than three new investigations for his Leith-based cop in the last year - It's Five O'Clock Somewhere, Six Geese A Laying and Seven Deadly Inches.

Born in Paisley, the father of three now considers himself an east coaster, Bathgate is his home, some of which is reflected in his protagonist.

"There's a bit of me in DI Murray, a west coast man who moved to live on the east coast," he concedes, "although he lives in Cramond and works out of Queen Charlotte Street police station."

Of the three new books, It's Five O'Clock Somewhere is a collection of five short stores, "Ideas I couldn't get a full story out of," says Patterson, adding, "the sixth is a seasonal tale and the seventh is inspired by the Criagentinny Marbles."

Previous novels featuring DI Murray are The Winter Wind, Departing Footprints, Third Degree Burns and Forthcoming Vengance.

"The books are all stand-alones, you can pick them up and read them in any order as they are all independent crime, murder-related investigations,” he says, revealing, “Anybody picking up one of my books will always be able to tell which book in the series it is by the title. The first was the The Winter Wind, singular, next Departing Footprints, plural, then Third Degree Burns and the fourth is Forthcoming Vengance... so there's always a clue in the title."

Nominated for Best Breakthrough Author at the Crime Thriller Awards in 2018, Patterson started writing after, having been active in his local church, there came a time when he found it wasn't keeping him as busy as before. With time on his hands he wrote his debut novel, The Winter Wind, and introduced readers to his 'music loving, yet somewhat mentally challenged' Detective Inspector. That book was shortlisted for the Staedtler Independent Crime Novel of the Year in 2017.

However, while lockdown has allowed him to develop his writing, it’s entertaining that Patterson longs to be able to do again.

“I do miss performing, you'll be lucky if I remember the words by the time I go back. You think you know them, you sing them every day, but to not sing them for ten to eleven months… Ever since I started, I've sung Lord of the Dance, just four verses of it. I tried singing it the other week and got verse one and the chorus but couldn't remember the rest of it.”

And he reflects that when he can return to Scotland’s care homes, it will be emotional.

"When the homes call me to tell me one of the residents has passed away, it touches me at a very personal level, it's not just a job for me, still, I can't wait to get back.”

All Michael Patterson’s novels are available here

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