I overcame crippling postnatal depression to graduate from Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh

I overcame crippling postnatal depression and suicidal thoughts to complete my studies and graduate from Heriot-Watt University on Thursday, June 20.

I was presented with an MSc in Business Psychology with Intercultural Communication during the Summer Graduation Ceremonies at the university’s Edinburgh campus.

It was a moment charged with intense emotion after I endured a traumatic pregnancy and labour just eight months ago, leading to fears I may not be able to graduate.

I moved to Edinburgh with my husband in February 2022 from our home in South India. Shortly after arriving, I enrolled into a one-year course at the University’s School of Social Sciences but my world was turned upside down when, just weeks later, I fell pregnant.

Helan Vinod was presented with an MSc in Business Psychology with Intercultural Communication during the Summer Graduation Ceremonies at Heriot-Watt University. | Sub

Falling pregnant at that time was not really in our plans; we were going to wait at least another three years. But once the shock had subsided we were, of course, delighted. So, I pushed myself to go ahead. I didn’t want to give up on my baby or my degree.

I then suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum, causing excessive nausea and vomiting early in my pregnancy. It became so debilitating that I was unable to attend my new job working in a fast-food restaurant and so I took the decision to resign.

It was also around this time that I was diagnosed with gallstones, resulting in bouts of agonising pain. With so much to contend with, I started to notice a change in my mental health with growing feelings of depression and anxiety.

There were many factors effecting my mental health at that time. I’d moved to a new country and knew I must adapt to everything being different, from the climate to the language. But I didn’t have much time to get used to this because everything happened so quickly.

Being a new mum as well as a new student and trying to grapple with life in a new country, it all became too much for me. My parents were working in India so I couldn’t ask for much support from them. I was kind of stranded.

My condition worsened as the pregnancy progressed and started to affect my studies. At many points, I questioned whether I would have the physical strength to attend a class again, let alone graduate.

I went to the university for help and was put in contact with the Student Wellbeing Services, which played a crucial role in my academic success.

Helan with her husband and their son Isa at the graduation ceremony last week. | Sub

As an expecting mother experiencing challenges in terms of physical and mental health, there has been multiple instances where I felt that I had to give up on my studies. The support system at Heriot-Watt, especially the student wellbeing services, were empathetic and remarkably accommodating.

The course leaders were very friendly and approachable, most of them were keen to offer extra support since I had missed a few lectures due to my health constraints.

On October 31, 2022, I gave birth in Edinburgh to a beautiful baby boy, Isaiah. But shortly afterwards, I noticed a drastic change in my outlook. I struggled to get out of bed in the mornings, lost my appetite and felt desperate and hopeless.

After the birth, I felt emotionally crippled. Although my parents had made the trip to Scotland for the birth, I was feeling really low, tearful and it was an absolute disaster. I really don’t know how to put it into words. I was feeling suicidal and was completely helpless.

But the NHS was amazing and recognised these symptoms from early on, from before the birth, and I was placed under the care of the postnatal mental health team.

To aid my recovery, the university ensured I had all the support I needed to complete my studies, including granting an extension for my dissertation deadline allowing me to defer until the following year.

The student service centre and the visa team were professional, yet sensitive in their interactions. Throughout my pregnancy and postnatal recovery, the university remained accessible to me.

The breastfeeding rooms, baby-changing facilities and accommodative attitude of the staff and students were important factors that helped me to cope with this pivotal transition period in my life.