Why Hearts fans should stop spamming club's Twitter account over lack of signings

There are only three certainties in life: death, taxes and impatient football fans responding to a summer tweet from their club with something along the lines of “ANNOUNCE A SIGNING!”

The transfer window is sneakingly the best period to be a football fan. Often it’s the most exciting. There are no defeats, no disappointing or mind-numbing draws to haul us back to reality. The sky is the limit. Every new addition is thought to be capable of conquering the world, while the manager is unable to frustrate with baffling tactical decisions as there are no matches in which to do so.

My close friend, fellow Terrace Podcast and A View From The Terrace (shameless plug x 2) panellist Tony Anderson remarked earlier this summer that his favourite part of being a Hibs supporter in season 2021/22 was the January window when new boss Shaun Maloney went on a recruitment spree. It’s relatable. It makes sense, especially because they were rubbish to watch for the rest of it.

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Everything about football brings with it a certain irrationality. It’s the whole essence of the sport. It’s watching 11 men or women in matching colours you’ve been brainwashed to adore kicking around a spherical shape and trying to get it beyond someone wearing oversized gloves standing in front of a rectangle. But it’s not mere watching, is it? Football isn’t entertainment, as much as we like to repeat such a supposed statement of fact whenever it suits whatever argument we have, typically against our clubs for charging too much for the experience. It’s an obsession. It’s just about the dumbest thing to be obsessed by, but that’s what makes it so wonderful. So yes, irrationality is a good thing for football, but by god it can be maddening at times.

Manager Robbie Neilson is still looking to add to the squad ahead of next season. Picture: SNS

Listen, I get it. I want to see Hearts sign a striker as much as anyone. There needs to be an alternative to Liam Boyce. When Armand Gnanduillet played (and sulked) his way out of Robbie Neilson’s plans last season, it left the manager with only Boyce as the natural striker he trusted until Ellis Simms arrived in January. So when Boyce had a couple of minor injuries prior to the Evertonian’s arrival, Neilson was forced to turn to Josh Ginnelly or Ben Woodburn to play through the middle.

It’s another hugely important season coming up for Hearts as they want to cement themselves as the third best team in the country and once again claim the riches and prestige which comes with playing in European group-stage competition. While things were absolutely fine last term with mostly the same squad, it’s difficult to imagine the rest of this year’s Scottish Premiership quite so rotten and there should be a stronger challenge for third. There’s also at least eight games in European football, which will both serve as a distraction and put further strain on the squad, necessitating the need for more bodies, and not just up front. Yes, further reinforcements will come eventually, but it feels imperative they get off to a fast start, especially with the first derby at the season coming during the first week in August.

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It’s fine to be frustrated and a little impatient. The Ross County home opener is just two weeks away and it doesn’t seem like anyone else is close to walking in the door.

But, and I can’t query this strongly enough, what on earth has that got to do with the guy who runs the club Twitter admin?

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Lawrence Shankland is someone Hearts fans would like to see in maroon. Picture: SNS

A new retro shirt is being released: "Just stop tweeting unless it’s an announcement.”

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Advertising a job working for the club on matchdays: “We are looking for a Shankland announcement.”

Details of a B team fixture in the SPFL Trust Trophy: “Just get him announced already.”

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These people are aware it’s not the job of everybody at the club to work on new signings, right? And they should also be aware that other things happen at a club other than recruiting players. When these supposedly incidental things happen, fans should probably be informed of them. Putting up these necessary bits of information on Twitter does exactly that.

The scarf above the head is a traditional part of any signing announcement. Picture: SNS
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Don’t demand the media team release details of transfer targets, demand it of the manager. Except, that’s what he is doing – several times a week. Every time someone from this paper or the wider media interviews Neilson, signing talk is very much high on the agenda. The Hearts boss, even for a football manager, likes to keep things close to his chest, but he’s actually been pretty open and honest this current window about where the club stand on signing targets like Simms, Lawrence Shankland and Connor Ronan.

I know what you’re thinking. Who cares? It’s just a few supporters either trying to have a little fun, or those who like to bleat and moan about everything doing what they do best.

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Well, if that is what you’re thinking, you should count your lucky stars you’ve never had a job where perusing Twitter replies is a requirement of the role. It is EXHAUSTING. Twitter is a flaming hellscape that’s now an unfortunate part of everyday life for a lot of people. Just reading the timeline can be anxiety-inducing to the point of causing chest tightness and mild breathing difficulties, what with the world currently falling to bits and everything. Add in people complaining through their laptops and handheld devices about something you have no control over just adds to that stress.

It’s not funny, it’s definitely not clever and it achieves nothing. Give it a rest.

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