'Funniest joke' of Edinburgh Fringe 2024 crowned – and this year's 15 best jokes revealed
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The coveted award, which aims to recognise both established and up-and-coming comics, is now in its 15th year. Previous winners of the award, run annually by the TV comedy channel, include Tim Vine, Rob Auton, Stewart Francis, Zoe Lyons, Masai Graham, Ken Cheng, Olaf Falafel and Nick Helm.
Comedian Mark Simmons won the award with his gag: “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.”
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Hide AdIt comes after a panel of comedy experts sat through hundreds of shows across the Edinburgh Festival Fringe this month, listening out for jokes which made them laugh out the loudest. They nominated their list of the 15 best jokes, which were then put to a vote of 2000 people, with Simmons voted the winner.


The joke, taken from his PHB’s Free Fringe show at Liquid Room Annexe, won 40% of the vote. It came a decade after Simmons first performed at the Fringe as a solo act, when his friend convinced him to do an open mic night.
Speaking after winning the award, Simmons said: “I’m really chuffed to win U&Dave’s Funniest Joke Of The Fringe. I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers, can’t understand it, I always gave 110%.”
His show, More Jokes, can be seen at Liquid Rooms Annexe until August 24, and he is currently also performing a 200-date tour.
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Hide AdCherie Hall, U&Dave channel director, said: “We are ecstatic to announce this year’s winner, Mark Simmons, and his winning joke.
“This year’s list features a hilarious blend of jokes that are sure to keep us laughing until the next Joke Of The Fringe. With the Joke Of The Fringe now in its 15th year, U&Dave is still committed to supporting great comedy and brilliant gags.”
U&Dave’s Top 15 Funniest Jokes Of The Fringe 2024 were:
1. I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it – Mark Simmons
2. I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward… two steps back – Alec Snook
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Hide Ad3. Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful – Alex Kitson
4. I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it – Arthur Smith
5. I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it – Mark Simmons
6. My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres”, which, I think, speaks volumes – Olaf Falafel
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Hide Ad7. British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? – Chelsea Birkby
8. I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it – Masai Graham
9. My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had – Zoe Coombs Marr
10. The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati – Olaf Falafel
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Hide Ad11. I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are ‘there there’ – Sarah Keyworth
12. I’ve got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I’d never bought her that vineyard – Roger Swift
13. Gay people are very bad at maths. We don’t naturally multiply – Lou Wall
14. Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher – Sophie Duker
15. Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects 1% of people – Olga Koch
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