Donald Trump's bandwagon may keep rumbling on accompanied by his angry, armed supporters – Susan Morrison

Blimey. Well. I mean, I know our American cousins can do some fairly wacky stuff, but this is a good one.

Donald Trump is taking legal action over voting in a number of states (AP Photo/Evan Vucci, File)

At time of writing, the United States is sitting in what looks like a season-ending cliffhanger for a show that was supposed to only last one series but looks like there might be a sequel.

Predictably, some Americans have gone banshee bonkers and reached for assault rifles to protect the democratic freedom to stop counting votes, because their guy was in the lead, but – gosh darn it! – these other votes they're counting are going the wrong way! This, incidentally, is the point of an election. You count the votes. And everyone who voted gets to have their vote counted.

It's like football, although I will admit my knowledge is extremely sketchy. I raised eyebrows at Easter Road when I referred to the crowd as the ‘audience’ and half-time as the ‘interval’.

Soccer doofus I may be, but I am aware that if one team is five goals up before the interval, they can’t just say, well, this is embarrassing, pick up the ball and go home, although there have been times when our national team might have wished that to happen. Looking at you, Uruguay, 1954. Seven goals was just overdoing it. Yes, I googled.

Heavens, what if it’s a tie? Can the American political system do coalition? I can’t really see Joe and Donald standing side by side in the Rose Garden like Dave and Nick all those years ago, can you?

Not without it turning into the most embarrassing fist-fight between two men of advancing years you ever saw, and trust me, here in Leith, age is no limiter to street fisticuffs. We are familiar with the sight of a pensioner slo-mo slugfest. I’ve seen punches swung on Monday that didn’t land till Tuesday.

Will Donald go quietly? Of course he won’t. The track of the man’s nails on the floor of the Oval Office will be a feature remarked upon by tour guides of the White House for decades to come.

More worrying is what the man will do when they finally prise the keys to Airforce One from his tiny hands. He likes a rally, does the Donald. I have a sneaky feeling that his run for office in 2024 will start the second he feels the White House door slam at his back. He’s 74 now. Biden is 77. Trump would be 78. And he keeps telling us he’s the fittest president that ever held office. He can run again. The rules say you can only be president twice, but don’t say consecutively.

He loves the hullaballoo of a campaign. In fact, I think he liked campaigning more than governing. The Trump bandwagon could rumble on, summoning the noisy, angry armed faithful to come and adore their fallen hero, and his son, because even if Donald doesn’t do it, he’s got a surrogate there in that lad of his, not to mention the strangely expressionless daughter.

They may get the man out of the White House, but like the villain in a horror movie, they haven’t seen the last of him.

Tell you who we probably have seen the last of. Melania. Bet you barely see her for dust…

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