Sad thing is Peppa’s world a better place than Bojo’s strange land – Susan Morrison

Until recently I was unaware of Peppa Pig World.

Susan Morrison has recently discovered the world of Peppa Pig - and prefers it to Boris Johnson's alternative. PIC: PA.

Does she need an entire world? Not even the mighty Mickey Mouse gets the whole magical kingdom to himself. He’s got to share with seven dwarves, Goofy, Minnie and an increasing number of suitably 21st century princesses who are more likely to punch a kiss-stealing prince than live with him happily ever after.

Excellent. I loathed that pasty faced Snow White. Tell those short lazy lads to do their own housework. Mind you, I noticed that when Snowy turned her hand to the dusting she whistled up the local wildlife to lend a hand.

That’s no way to clean a house, baby. Here in Leith you can whistle until your cheeks turn puce. The squirrels might saunter in, but just to case the joint for a nut raid later.

Actually, I didn’t know Peppa was. My kids are grown now. We don’t do cartoons. Can’t remember the last time I saw either Tom or Jerry terrorise that houskeeper. There’s a woman who can clean a house without a squirrel. Once she gets down from that stool.

So my thanks to Mr Boris Johnson, and that’s a series of words I thought I’d write, for introducing me to Peppa Pig World. A quick glance at the website and I discovered a lovely bunch of chums including Mummy and Daddy Pig, Zoe Zebra and Suzy Sheep.

Sadly there was no mention of the recent short-lived attraction, Bojo Bandicoot, a strange, messy squeaky creature.

Bojo got into all sorts of scrapes, like fibbing to people and messing things up for railways and hospitals. Naughty Bojo.

When people ask him why he has been naughty, boys and girls, he makes lots of spluttering noises and sometimes impersonates a 1950’s Morris Minor.

Just as well he didn’t have his own thrill ride in Peppa’s world. The one he has right now is downright scary. We’re all trapped on his out-of-control rollercoaster.

The saddest thing is that I am willing to bet that the world of Peppa Pig is probably better run than the land of Bojo Bandicoot.

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