Homegrown Hibs hero breaks silence: 'I cared too much - and deserved criticism for underperforming.'

Living the dream every single day. But carrying a burden that few of his team-mates could possibly understand. Until, inevitably, the weight became just too much to bear.

From starting the season as a vital element of the new manager’s grand vision, to dropping out of the match day squad entirely, Josh Campbell has experienced some wild extremes since David Gray was installed as head coach. The fact that Gray is able to empathise with the boyhood Hibs fan, the gaffer knowing only too well how it feels when your day job represents both a lifetime’s ambition AND a source of deeply personal anguish, has been of no little help to Campbell.

The 24-year-old, pleased to again be part of the gaffer’s plans even if it is only as an impact sub, for now, speaks openly about the emotional strain he’s gone through in half a season of more downs than ups. He doesn’t shy away from the fact that, as a homegrown talent, he sometimes takes a bit of extra stick from supporters when things are going awry.

But the former academy kid isn’t complaining. Campbell knows that much of the criticism has been deserved. And was hardly surprised when Gray, rather than inventing some mystery niggle to explain why the midfielder had fallen out of his match-day group of 20 players entirely, spoke plainly about the player’s desperate desire to dig ‘his’ team out of a whole leading to below-par performances.

“It's been tough,” said Campbell, the versatile all-rounder adding: “I've not spoken about it, although the manager has touched on it a wee bit. I've not spoken about it.

“It's been a bit difficult for me. I've underperformed. And it was hard for me to deal with underperforming because I cared too much.

“When I was struggling, the gaffer was giving me little tips. Like sometimes it's better not to care as much and your performances won't get affected. My performances were getting affected. It sounds so easy.

“But I could feel at the time that my performances weren’t right. I'm 24 now, I've played enough games in this league and for this team to know what's good and what's not.

“The manager put a lot of trust in me at the start of the season and I didn't repay that trust because I underperformed, and I understand why I wasn't playing. I'm still not starting right now but I'm getting a bit more confidence back especially when I came on and scored against Motherwell. That did me a world of good.

“Aye, that was some celebration to go with the goal. That one meant a lot to me. I normally get a couple of goals, and I'd not had any this season so that was the first for me.

“Then the manager put me on as his first sub against Celtic when it was needed. So I'm feeling better now.”

That scoring performance from the bench in the 3-0 away win over Motherwell certainly helped. The fact that Campbell was called upon so early in Saturday’s 3-0 loss at Celtic Park, the substitute taking up a position on the right of midfield as Elie Youan moved forward in place of injured striker Myko Kuharevich, also felt like Gray demonstrating his faith in a player identified as a potential game breaker during those early weeks of the rookie gaffer’s reign.

While Hibs have a good record, historically, of bringing through their own talent, only a very small minority of players will ever understand what it’s like to support AND play for a club of their stature. In a sport as tribal as football, it must take enormous mental strength to see it as merely a job of work.

Campbell makes no bones about the difficulties, confessing: “It's tough. Obviously, it comes with a lot of pressure when you play for Hibs. It's a big club. You're expected to do well.

“When we're underperforming like we are right now, it's difficult. A lot of pointing the finger.

“Sometimes the people that come through the academy get a bit more than others and that's fine. I don't know why that is. That's how football is. It's a weird thing. I'm happy to take it if that helps my team.

“If it can help the other boys on the team's performances grow and take the confidence from it, I'll take the criticism that comes with it. Which is only right.

“I deserve it. I've not been good enough. The team's bottom of the league.

“But, from the day that Gaffer got the job, this team's been together. I've never been in a Hibs team with so much ability and so much togetherness – but we’re still underperforming.

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“There's no doubt that we're all together. Everyone might see it different from the outside, I know.

“But we all love what we’ve got here. We all love the coaching staff, the manager. We all love being down at the training centre together.

“We all know that it might just take one day to turn it around. It started to click against Motherwell last week.

“Obviously losing to Celtic is a bit of a bump in the momentum because it's tough to go there and get anything. But I don’t think I’ve ever played at Celtic and had that many chances in a game.

“It says it all when their goalie gets the man of the match, doesn't it? It's a fine margins, isn't it? They take their chances, and we don't. It's ultimately how they win 3-0. But we just need to forget about, take the positives from it and move on to the next game.”

Starting with Saturday’s visit of Ross County to Easter Road, Hibs face a run of six games in 23 days. With a trip to Tynecastle on December 26 obviously standing out.

Campbell, not involved in October’s 1-1 home draw with Hearts, said: “That's the best thing about this time of year. Fixtures. Lots of them. As tiring as it is for some folk, it's actually really good because you just move on.

“You play a game; you move on to the next one. And we're looking forward to the fixtures that are coming - especially the one on Boxing Day.”