Our new ghosts of Christmas past, present and future swirl all around - Susan Morrison
I also buy those gingerbread German biscuits with thin icing on them. They land up next to the poinsettia in the bin.
One tradition I never miss is reading A Christmas Carol. My edition is beautifully illustrated. It’s like a decoration in its own right. Every year I take it off the shelf and treat myself to a mug of hot chocolate and meet Scrooge, the Crachits and the Ghosts again.
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Hide AdI’m guessing we all know the plot. Miserable grumpy old git gets visited by the ghost of his dead pal, dead pal tells MGOG that he’s going to become a nice person with the help of three other ghosts. Essentially, it’s life coaching. Technically, that should be after-life coaching. There’s a happy ending, even for Tiny Tim, who did not die. Job done, Mr Dickens. Oops, sorry, should have put up a spoiler alert there.
It’s a cosy tale wrapped up in a chilling story. At least two of the four ghosts who visit Scrooge are pretty frightening. Marley and the Ghost of Christmas Present could scare the bah humbug out of anyone, even Jacob Rees-Mogg, a man born to win first prize in an Ebeneezer Scrooge Look-A-Like contest.
This year, I felt that the three spooky visitors Dickens conjured up seemed to swirl all around us, although with a bit of updating.
The Ghost of Christmas Past is still wafting around us, and by past, I mean last year. The dread spectre of Cancelled Christmas swirls about, but, fingers crossed, looks like we’re going to be restricted but not shut down.
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Hide AdThe Ghost of Christmas Present would probably be dressed as a delivery driver toting Amazon packages. Yes, I too resent bunging Mr Bezos another wodge of cash to spend on his space race, but the fact is I need that light-up colour-changing plastic unicorn and I need it now and Amazon delivers. I live in hope that the next time Jeff goes space hopping the mothership from Close Encounters will suddenly swoop in and sweep him up to take him where no billionaire has gone before.
The Ghost of Christmas Future? Well, there's a thing. On Christmas Day 2019, Christmas 2020 was already doomed by a bug bubbling across borders from far away China. Dickens' ghost was scary enough, but our version would have appeared exactly 2 metres away from us, waving a LTF test and wearing a mask, having walked for exactly an hour. As unbelievable as it sounds, back then we wouldn’t have a clue what he was on about. And it’s hard to understand even ghosts when they are masked up.
I shall be the Ghost of Hopeful Christmas, and wish you all a lovely day. I hope you can get together with your families, stuff yourself silly, get lovely presents and fall asleep in front of the telly.
Let's raise a glass and say Merry Christmas, one and all. Not you, Tiny Tim, put the brandy punch down.