Early listening to Gardeners Question Time sowed the seeds - Susan Morrison
A very long time ago, a dear friend told me that all women eventually become gardeners. This was back in the years when I smoked B&H, propped up the bar until 2am and could get up again for work at 8am. Admittedly, when I got to the office, I didn’t do much.
Gardening held very little interest for me back then, but slowly, like Japanese knotweed, it crept into my consciousness. I suspect “Gardeners Question Time” on Radio 4 has something to do with it.
In the days before podcasts and audible books I used to hear it on a semi-regular basis when I was driving. Didn’t have a clue what they were talking about, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves, in an incredibly Home Counties sort of way.
It was chaired by a terribly nice chap with the incredibly apt name of Bob Flowerdew. I know, I couldn’t believe it either, but I looked him up and it's true. He is bluff and cheery and likes a josh about with the other panellists, particularly a lady called Bunny Guinness.
I always thought there was a bit of the old friendly rivalry about them and in the interests of journalistic integrity, I fact checked, and by that I mean, Googled.
Sure enough, the first link is to a video of Mr Flowerdew and Ms Guinness as “Bob and Bunny bicker in Bob’s Norfolk garden”. Later, there would appear to be a difference of opinion on the matter of shade loving plants when “Bunny shows her reworking of her entrance area.”
Yes, I sniggered. I am still deeply immature.
But the weeds and seeds had been sown by that accidental listening. Last year, I recalled a long-ago panellist recommending planting bulbs under the lawn to stop those pesky squirrels getting at them. Trust me, Leith squirrels love a good bulb.
Planting under the lawn sounded easy. It was not. But I battled on and you know what, that expert was right. My daffodils and dwarf narcissi bloomed beautifully. Take that, Squirrel McNutkin.
One blooming success and I'm an expert, awaiting the call from GQT. I am not alone.
It would seem my old friend was right, all those years ago. A quick visit to any garden centre will tell you, with white hair comes green fingers.
Garden centres are the hip happening spots for the silver generation, even if that hip has been replaced. Top tip, my go-to centre starts with D and offers a pensioners lunch Monday to Friday and on Tuesdays everything is 10 per cent off for the old fogies like me.
Management clearly knows their customer base, given the volume of 80s disco hits that was blaring out over the loud speakers. A gentle browse through the Bedding Plant selection was soundtracked by Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love”, Aha’s ‘Take on Me’ and, with no apparent irony whatsoever, Elvis Costello’s ‘Good Year for the Roses’.
That last one isn’t technically a disco hit in the truest sense of the word, but definitely one of the songs you had to have a winch to at the end of the night, followed perhaps by a lumber. If you know what those terms mean, you qualify for that discount on Tuesdays.
My friend was right. Gardening grows on you.