Scottish hobbits do like our scran Elon, no sure about the pipe smoking ...
Too much of a good thing can be dangerous. Take drink. A nice single malt on a cold night is a wonder, but too much and that warmth turns into alcohol poisoning, and madness ensues.
I’ve begun to wonder if the same is true of money. When there’s enough to pay the bills, buy a few wee luxuries and even put a little away, life is comfortable. Faced with a tidal wave of the stuff, the human brain seems to get poisoned, and madness ensues.
Yes, the tragic victims of “Money Poisoning” lurch among us like dead-eyed, nonsense-spouting zombies.
Look at Elon Musk. Even though he’s always been rich, there must have been a time when he was fairly ordinary. In his earlier years, Elon didn’t really disturb the rest of humanity, far less the Scots, but then he turbo charged up to billionaire level, and here comes the madness.
Like a drunk droning at the bar, the money intoxicated Mr Musk loves the sound of his own voice. And of course, he knows everything, by jingo and must tell everyone. His latest discovery is that the Scots are actually Hobbits. We are, he says, “lovely people who like to smoke their pipe and have nice meals and everything is pleasant like the Hobbits”. Yes. He actually said that.
Can’t really argue with the nice meals. We love good scran. The Shore boasts restaurants that win worldwide acclaim. Both Edinburgh and Glasgow are foodie heavens. Admittedly, we still have room for the Deep Fried Mars Bar.
Bit iffy on the pipe smoking. My dad was an enthusiastic pipe man. Mind you, the smoke kept the midges at bay. Elon might have something there.
Elon believes hobbity Scots are innocents, only able to enjoy “the Shire … because hard men have protected them from the dangers of the world.”
Oh silly Mr Musk. Let me take you by the hand, I’ll lead you through the streets of Leith and I’ll show you hard men in pubs who’ll make you change your mind. You'll enjoy the conversations. The boozy boys probably make just as much sense as your money-addled brain.